What Neuroaffirming Care Actually Means (And How to Spot the Real Deal)
I'm Not Here to Fix You Because You Aren't Broken
Easy to say, much harder to practice. That's what neuroaffirming care really is - simple to claim but it requires genuine commitment to put into action. The real challenge isn't following a checklist of "right" behaviours. It's doing the inner work to examine your own beliefs about what's "normal" and what needs "fixing."
My name is Giarne. I'm a parent to a neuro-fabulous little person, a late-identified AuDHDer with other neurodivergent identities, and an occupational therapist with Ashby Therapy Services. Both my child and I are NDIS participants, which gives me a unique perspective on what support looks like from both sides.
Recently, while scrolling our local NDIS Facebook page, I noticed a pattern that brought mixed emotions. On one hand, it was delightful seeing increased requests for neuro-affirming support workers, therapists, and support coordinators. We autistic people love patterns, and this screamed ‘growing awareness’ *insert happy dance!
But underneath these requests were countless providers advertising their services, claiming to be neuro-affirming without demonstrating any real understanding of what they were promising.
The Problem with Performative Affirmation
Here's the frustrating reality: anyone can claim to be neuroaffirming. It's become a buzzword that providers throw around because they know it's what neurodivergent people are seeking. But true neuroaffirming practice requires fundamental shifts in belief systems, not just updated marketing language. It’s so fundamentally important that its used appropriately because it signifies ‘safety’ to the neurodivergent community.
So how do you tell the difference between genuine affirmation and someone just "saying all the right things"?
The short answer: it's bloody hard.
What to Look for in Genuinely Neuroaffirming Support
Sensory Processing Considerations
Providers who've gone out of their way to offer sensory processing choices get a big tick in my book, something we do for everybody, not just for ‘some’ people, making it actually inclusive. They understand that sensory needs aren't preferences to accommodate if convenient - they're neurological requirements for function and regulation.
In our office, some clients prefer the overhead "big light" on, others want only lamps (whether that's three, two, or just one). We offer chairs and floor seating options, various tactile and fidget tools to support learning, and recognise how sensory processing connects to everything else.
Red flag: Providers who don’t recognise at all, or insist on specific seating arrangements, lighting, or sensory environments without flexibility.
Green flag: Services that ask about your sensory needs and actively modify their environment to support you.
Flexibility That Acknowledges Neurodivergent Reality
I'm AuDHD, and so is my little person. This creates a unique presentation that differs from Autism or ADHD alone. My autistic traits crave structure, routine, and sameness, whilst my ADHD parts need novelty, challenge, and interest to function optimally.
If you're thinking that sounds contradictory, you'd be correct! This means I need supports that understand the push-pull way my brain operates.
What this looks like practically:
Prior notice of changes so I can mentally adjust
Structure that's loose rather than rigid, allowing room for spontaneity
Recognition that my capacity fluctuates daily
Flexibility when my brain needs something different
A genuinely neuroaffirming provider will have understanding of different ways neurodivergent brains operate and ask for clarity in understanding how can support your unique neurotype’s needs.
Red flag: Assumptions about what all autistic or ND people need to function. Rigidity with strategies or approaches without considering individual needs.
Green flag: Providers who build flexibility into their practice, ask you for what your needs look like and adjust based on your daily capacity.
Language That Reflects Genuine Belief
Language matters because it shapes how we think and behave. If we consistently describe someone as "disordered" or "unable," basic psychology tells us we're more likely to believe it and unconsciously act on those beliefs.
I prefer to be called autistic rather than "a person with autism spectrum disorder" for two reasons:
I don't believe I'm disordered
Being autistic is part of my identity - not a disease to overcome
In my reports, I describe differences or challenges rather than deficits or disabilities. These might seem like subtle changes, but they represent fundamentally different ways of seeing people.
Important note: Always check individual preferences. Not everyone uses identity-first language, and that's completely valid.
The Beliefs That Underpin Genuine Neuroaffirming Practice
Here's what separates authentic neuroaffirming care from performative versions:
1. Neurological Diversity is Natural and Valuable
Genuine neuroaffirming practitioners understand we don't need to change neurodivergent brains to behave more neurotypically. There's natural diversity in neurotypes, and this diversity is beautiful and essential - not something to minimise or manage.
2. The Social Model of Disability
True neuroaffirming care recognises that barriers experienced by neurodivergent people are socially constructed. The environment disables people, not their neurotype. This shifts focus from changing individuals, to changing systems.
What This Means in Practice - a few examples
Stims aren't behaviours to stop - they serve essential regulatory functions. Providers should offer safe stimming options rather than seeking to eliminate these needs.
Communication differences aren't deficits - they're part of natural neurological diversity. Understanding these differences is everyone's responsibility, not just that of neurodivergent people.
Direct communication is efficient and honest, not rude
Info-dumping about special interests is sharing joy and inviting connection
Eye contact isn't essential for listening or learning
Trust Your Instincts
When evaluating potential providers, pay attention to that gut feeling. If you get an "ick" or uncomfortable sensation, you might be picking up on something, even if you don't yet have the language to describe.
Ask yourself:
Do they see me as someone with strengths, interests, and value as I am?
Or do they view me as a ‘project’ needing to be changed?
The answer will tell you everything you need to know about whether their support is genuinely affirming.
Drop in the comments your experiences of what you’ve found, when identifying neuroaffirming supports.