AuDHD: When You feel like a Walking, Talking Human Contradiction
Autism and ADHD: They're Closely Linked, Right?
Womp womp. Not really.
It might seem that way on the surface, especially with all the content floating around Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok about different "signs" of Autism, ADHD, or being AuDHD. But the reality? These two neurotypes are more like opposites that somehow learned to coexist in the same brain.
Let me explain.
The Diagnostic History That Shaped Everything
Until 2013, the big book of diagnoses (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual - DSM) said you could only have one or the other. When it was updated to its fifth edition (DSM-5), there were significant changes that finally allowed clinicians to diagnose both conditions simultaneously.
Both conditions fit under a 'neurodevelopmental' banner, which essentially means they involve fundamental differences in how the brain develops and functions. However, the previous diagnostic criteria prohibited the simultaneous diagnosis of both disorders until the DSM-5 was published in 2013.
Here's the thing: the DSM is human-made. It's socially and culturally constructed by groups of researchers and clinicians who decided that certain collections of symptoms equal specific labels. Systems like the NDIS use these diagnoses to determine eligibility for support, but the label (or lack thereof) doesn't actually change how your brain operates.
Two Operating Systems, One Brain
Autism and ADHD are like two different operating systems running simultaneously. Both impact executive functions (the thinking skills that help with day-to-day life), both affect how we function, and both create unique experiences for each person.
The Autistic Operating System
Autistic brains are monotropic - preferring one focus at a time. Autistic brains tend to:
Hyperfocus on limited special interests
Need routine and structure
Process sensory information differently
Engage in repetitive behaviours that have important regulatory functions
The ADHD Operating System
ADHD brains crave novelty and stimulation. ADHD Brains tend to:
Get bored easily and can be highly distractible
Struggle with sustained attention (even for preferred activities)
Hyperfocus intensely on interesting tasks, losing awareness of everything else
Be motivated by challenge, novelty, urgency, interest, and passion
ADHD is linked to the neurotransmitter dopamine and is often treated with stimulant (or non-stimulant) medication. There is no medication for Autism.
*please note these are generalisations and each person’s unique presentation can look different.
Living the Contradiction
I'm AuDHD myself, and I've previously described it as being a walking, talking human contradiction where the only thing I'm consistent at is being inconsistent.
Living with AuDHD often feels like housing two different operating systems that occasionally crash into each other. Your monotropic autistic brain wants to hyperfocus on special interests for hours, whilst your ADHD brain gets distracted by every notification, sound, or random thought that pops up.
You might spend three hours researching the perfect morning routine (hi hyperfocus), only to abandon it after two days because your ADHD brain finds it boring. Or you create elaborate organisational systems that work brilliantly – until your executive functioning takes an unscheduled holiday.
Why AuDHD Often Goes Unrecognised
The intersection of Autism and ADHD creates presentations that don't fit neatly into diagnostic boxes designed for single conditions. Having both operating systems can often result in misdiagnosis, particularly if we don’t present in the most ‘typical’ way. Spoiler alert: most research prior to 2013 only studied one condition or the other, and tended to focus on boys.
The Gender Factor
Women and those assigned female at birth (AFAB) face additional challenges in recognition. Our special interests are often deemed "socially appropriate" (think horses, books, or celebrities rather than trains or statistics), and our interest in social connections meant many of us were missed entirely.
Through trial and error, many of us learnt to mask our neurodivergent traits to keep ourselves safe. Over time, this can manifest as anxiety or depression, with focus shifting to mental health rather than an underlying neurodivergence.
The Masking Exhaustion
AuDHD masking isn't just about appearing neurotypical - it's about constantly code-switching between compensating for both neurotypes. You might script conversations to manage autistic social communication differences whilst simultaneously fighting ADHD impulses to interrupt or info-dump about your current interest.
This double masking contributes to burnout, mental health challenges, and "fluctuating capacity" - where your abilities vary dramatically from day to day or hour to hour.
It's Not All Doom and Gloom
Being AuDHD is actually fantastic! The challenges tend to arise from socially constructed ideas and beliefs that highlight what we find difficult as wrong whilst praising masking or performative behaviours as "improvement."
Developing compassion for how your brain works in contradictory ways is essential to finding your authentic self and developing both self-worth and a healthy neurodivergent identity.
What You Actually Need
You don't need fixing. Instead, you deserve the opportunity to:
Explore your unique neurodivergent profile - understanding what makes your brain beautifully you
Understand daily functioning patterns - why some things feel impossible whilst others come naturally, and how this can change
Recognise capacity fluctuations - accepting that you don't need to compare yourself to neurotypical expectations
Trial different accommodations - finding what actually works for your specific brain and needs
Find safe spaces - environments where masking isn't necessary for acceptance
Celebrate your strengths - recognising the incredible abilities that come with your neurotype
Practice self-compassion - developing internal dialogue that gives you permission to be authentically you
The Bottom Line
You are a beautiful, complex, not-broken, absolutely-enough neurodivergent AuDHDer who has so much magic to offer this world. You deserve support that honours all of who you are - the contradictions, the strengths, the challenges, and everything in between.
Your brain isn't a problem to be solved. It's a fascinating, capable system that just needs the right environment and understanding to thrive.