Who the Fuck is Listening? My less polite Thriving Kids Inquiry Submission
Last night, I jumped online knowing the submission deadline for the Thriving Kids inquiry was looming. I hadn’t had much time to look at it, but I was glad the government seemed to be reviewing the program to ensure safety for our kids.
Seemed being the key word.
Then I read the terms of reference. And it was just more of the same.
I rushed to get my submission in after 5pm (oh hey ADHD urgency timelines). So here’s a ‘less polite summary of my submission.
Who the Fuck am I?
I'm Giarne. Occupational Therapist. Mum to a wonderful neurodivergent kid. AuDHDer. Someone who’s lived this from every damn angle – clinically, personally, emotionally, bureaucratically.
The Terms of Reference are a Hot Mess
The entire premise of Thriving Kids is built on a fundamental misunderstanding of what developmental delay and autism are. They are not the same. They are not interchangeable. You can be autistic and have no developmental delays. You can also be autistic and have advanced skills in some areas and need significant support in others.
If you require kids to fit a "delay" model to be eligible for support, then you are actively excluding kids with very real support needs. And the consequences of missing these kids are lifelong. Chronic illness, mental health conditions, reduced opportunities.
Ask me how I know?
I’m one of them.
Mild to Moderate? Kindly Get in the Bin
Stop using "mild" or "moderate" in your language. It’s the spice level in your Nando’s order. It’s deficit-based, medicalised and lazy. It tells us nothing about a child’s experience or their support needs.
It’s also not language the Autistic community uses – or the diagnostic criteria, for that matter. Our support needs fluctuate depending on our environment and the supports we have access to. Support us, and we don’t need as much. Wild concept.
Strengths-based and affirming models exist. Use them.
Community & Mainstream Systems Aren’t Safe (Yet)
When I first thought my child might be autistic, I went to her daycare educators and asked them if they could see what I could see. And, they told me no. They said:
“but she can talk so well!”
“She’s so social” and
“maybe you just don’t spend enough time around kids her age”
Spoiler: I’m a fucking OT. I do actually understand child development.
She burned out. Twice.
Because the system wasn’t ready to support her. And if I struggled, with all my privilege and clinical training to access supports imagine what it's like for families without those resources.
Don’t try to shaft us to another system under the guise of it being better. They aren’t safe, yet. Do the work to make them safe, before you promise solutions in these spaces.
You Cannot Talk About Thriving Without Talking About Equity
Families from First Nations communities, CALD backgrounds, or where parents also have disability are navigating multiple layers of exclusion. If the system isn’t safe for someone like me, it’s straight-up dangerous for them.
You don’t get to tick these communities off like a diversity checklist. They need to be part of designing these programs.
It’s time to stop speaking about and start listening to.
Training is Not a Footnote
If we undertrain this workforce, families get hurt.
We saw this with the NDIS. People with good intentions but not enough skills flooded the system and it did harm. How about we learn from our mistakes. You can’t expect quality without adequate training.
Not in therapy. Not in community settings. Not in government programs.
Our kids deserve better than a half-formed plan.
Affirming is Not Optional
ABA has been shown to result in trauma and PTSD for autistic folk. Just because it sounds compelling or easier; doesn’t mean it’s safe.
Ask the adults who lived through it.
As parents who are just out here trying to do our best for our kids, while remembering to get enough sleep, exercise, work and stay hydrated - it’s confusing enough to try and or out what ‘best’ is. It’s essential families be able to choose what their best supports their needs.
We need informed choice. We need transparency. And we need to stop funding trauma under the guise of “outcomes.”
If you fund behaviourist-only models, you’re removing choice. And you’re failing the kids and families who need your support them most.
Are You Actually Listening?
Foundational supports consultation?
Roundtables?
Inquiries?
We’ve already told you what we need: individualised, affirming, community-based support. Not programs run by big providers with commercial interests.
If you’re not going to listen, stop asking.
The Real Cost Isn’t Money
We are talking about the essential early intervention supports for children.
You are deciding if a child will learn to communicate. If they’ll become independent. If they’ll feel safe in their body.
These aren’t abstract metrics. They’re everyday realities.
You want to change funding models? Fine. But make them better. Not just cheaper. Or you will harm children. Period.
We need systems that prioritise the life-long impacts of the decisions made to support early intervention, to have the same long-term perspective. Because the harm isn’t limited to a 3 year election cycle - it doesn’t show up on a budget but you better believe it shows up in the lives of these families.
Final Word
You must stop asking the community for input if you are not willing to truly listen.
We need investment, not cutbacks disguised as strategy.
We need safety, not systems that retraumatise.
And we need people in positions of power to remember who they actually were elected to serve:
not programmes, not votes—but children.
The same children who are this country's future. Start acting like it.
✌️ Giarne
OT, AuDHDer, Parent, Fed-Up Human